星空无限

The took place on October 14, 1979. It was the first march of its kind, and the preparation for it was rocky. The first item on the agenda of the planning conference, held in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the previous February, asked delegates to decide whether to hold a march at all. Many were opposed. A 鈥渉interlands caucus鈥� argued that calling attention to the presence of LGBT people outside of cities like New York and San Francisco would jeopardize their safety in the small towns where they lived. Lesbians and people of color were skeptical about whether the march would represent their interests.

In the end, though, the conference endorsed a march, to be organized on a grassroots level, led by a steering committee comprised of 50 percent of women and 25 percent people of color. The national organizations of the time, which were much smaller, poorer, and less influential than the ones we have now, were reluctant to join in, fearing that no one would attend, and that a failed march would be worse than none at all. The National Gay Task Force (now the ), for example, endorsed the gathering only a month before it was to take place, when it had become clear that people from around the country were going to stream into Washington in large numbers.

The experience was like nothing I鈥檇 ever done before. With friends from the weekly Gay Community News, where I was the features editor, I drove in a van to the march. GCN had printed up thousands of special issues that we were planning to distribute to the marchers. Cars passed us, beeping in support and holding signs out the windows. Every highway rest stop was crowded with people like us. The New Yorkers even chartered a special train. In Washington, the metro was crowded with obvious queers from all over the country. And on the day of the march, a huge crowd of us surrounded the Washington monument. The organizers estimated that there were at least 100,000 at the rally; the media, including the Boston Globe, reported far fewer鈥攂ut it was a victory that they reported on us at all. Our movement had finally grown too big to ignore. (And in an activist response to the Globe鈥檚 underestimate, Lesbian and Gay Media Advocates [LAGMA] formed, to push for accurate, unbiased coverage.)

The march had five main demands:

鈥� Pass a comprehensive lesbian/gay rights bill in Congress.
鈥� Issue a presidential executive order banning discrimination based on sexual orientation in the federal government, the military, and federally contracted private employment.
鈥� Repeal all anti-lesbian/gay laws.
鈥� End discrimination in lesbian-mother and gay-father custody cases.
鈥� Protect lesbian and gay youth from any laws which are used to discriminate, oppress, and/or harass them in their homes, schools, jobs, and social environments.

Thirty-six years later, the social status of LGBT people has changed enormously. Few LGBT people in Montana, say, would worry that a march in Washington, DC, would cause them to be set upon by an angry mob. In liberal Massachusetts, my employer, my neighbors, and my doctor all know I鈥檓 a lesbian. I鈥檝e been married to my partner of 27 years since 2003鈥攁nd my entire family came to our wedding. Since the Supreme Court鈥檚 Obergefell decision in June, my marriage is recognized by the federal government as well as that of my state. I can watch many television shows and movies in which LGBT characters make it through the entire plot without killing themselves. I can kiss my wife goodbye on the front steps when I leave for work in the morning without worrying (too much) that we鈥檒l be beaten or shot.

Vice President Joe Biden pointed out during the celebrations of Obergefell, 鈥淎lthough the freedom to marry鈥攁nd for that marriage to be recognized in all 50 states鈥攊s now the law of the land, there are still where marriage can be recognized in the morning and you can be fired in the afternoon.鈥� We have no federal protection from employment discrimination鈥攏or from discrimination in housing, education, public accommodations, credit, federal funding, and jury service. For that kind of protection, we would need the federal Equality Act: the . It has 鈥攂ut it鈥檚 a little hard to imagine it getting anywhere, given everything else that is jammed up in Congress. Last year, after the Supreme Court鈥檚 Hobby Lobby decision, LGBT groups gave up even on the more limited Employment Nondiscrimination Act (ENDA) after pushing for it for twenty years, since the court decision would have opened the door to endless religious exemptions. (Maybe none of this is surprising, given that the US has not yet been able to pass a women鈥檚 Equal Rights Amendment.)

Still, as .

We did get that 鈥攋ust last year. And we got rid of anti-lesbian and gay sodomy laws鈥攂ut only after a long slog that required not only overturning antiquated state laws but also the Supreme Court鈥檚 1986 Hardwick decision upholding Georgia鈥檚 sodomy law. The court 鈥攊n 2003.

Even child custody, which you might think had been resolved by equal marriage, continues to complicate the lives of LGBT parents and their children. Recently, 鈥� refused to list the biological mother鈥檚 wife on the birth certificate of the child they had conceived through donor insemination. Iowa officials argued that the law recognizes the biological and 鈥榞endered鈥� roles of 鈥榤other鈥� and 鈥榝ather,鈥� grounded in the biological fact that a child has one biological mother and one biological father.鈥� Back in 1993, the feminist science studies scholar wrote that 鈥渟ex and gender are best conceptualized as points in a multidimensional space鈥濃�攂ut Iowa hasn鈥檛 yet gotten the message. Wait until it has to tangle with the multidimensional space of gender nonconforming parents and children.

The protection of LGBT young people that we demanded in 1979 is in some ways the most depressing item on the list to contemplate. Of course, in some communities, LGBT youth can find gay-straight alliances, supportive peers and adults, and even church groups, none of which existed for the friends I marched with in 1979, some of whom had been beaten, institutionalized, or simply abandoned by their hideous, homophobic families. But LGBT youth are still to become homeless because they鈥檝e been rejected and kicked out by family, abused, or neglected. This of course leaves them vulnerable to lifelong poverty and trouble, because they lack education, access to resources, friendship, and support.

I recently asked the activist and writer about why we haven鈥檛 progressed farther鈥攁t a moment when, as she put it, 鈥渟ome people are acting though the movement is over, and we won.鈥� Equal marriage, she said, 鈥渋s only a partial victory鈥� The lesson from every civil rights movement is that formal legal equality doesn鈥檛 completely address people鈥檚 problems. Our community is incredibly diverse, in terms of age, race, nationality, geography, immigration status, gender identification, all kinds of parameters. We have to look at people鈥檚 lives through many lenses.鈥� She is currently leading an effort to address income inequality in the LGBT community鈥攂ecause despite the stereotype of the rich, white, gentrifying gay man, many LGBT people are far less economically secure than their straight counterparts, and their children are more likely to live in poverty. LGBT people continue to experience discrimination, legal run-ins, violence, homelessness鈥攂asically, all the issues we were fighting to change back in 1979.

As the late Yogi Berra famously said, 鈥淚t ain鈥檛 over till it鈥檚 over.鈥�

Amy Hoffman, M.F.A., is editor-in-chief of  published by and . A writer, editor, and community activist, she is the author of including, , about Boston鈥檚 lesbian and gay movement during the late 1970s, which was published by the University of Massachusetts Press in 2007.

Below are links to two articles from good friends of the 星空无限鈥� and . Susan is the former, long-time executive director of the 星空无限 (星空无限); Alex is chair of the International Planned Parenthood Council and member of the 星空无限 Council of Advisors. In their respective blog articles, they share their perspectives on the year 2014.

In her latest piece on , Susan writes, "Hanukkah, then Christmas next week, followed by the start of a new year鈥攁 time of hope and beginnings. Why doesn鈥檛 it feel that way? For the past several days I鈥檝e been searching for the bright spots. The ones that can provide the energy we need in the midst of so much darkness. Not an easy task. Each day new horrors erupt: the second anniversary of the Sandy Hook massacre and still no reasonable national gun control legislation; free passes for racial biases and deadly police brutality; the sickening slaughter of school children in Pakistan; ongoing revelations of rape in the US military and on university campuses. Negative news can so easily obliterate positive signs in the struggles for equal rights. But all around us there is tangible evidence of the many ways feminist work contributes to positive progress for everyone... You can .

In his latest piece on , Alex writes, "Once again, we've had a year of ups and downs, a year of strong stands for women's rights and crushing defeats. Here's a quick run-down of some of the most memorable moments of 2014. Last month, the Chamber of Deputies in the Dominican Republic put forward a measure to reinforce鈥攁nd strengthen鈥攖he country's existing ban on abortions in all circumstances. Thankfully, Dominican President Danilo Medina vetoed the measure, urging legislators in a letter to decriminalize abortions in cases where the woman's life is at risk or in cases of rape, incest, or fetus malformation. " You can .

What do you think have been notable events or moments of the past year? Share with us!

The mission of the at is to advance gender equality, social justice, and human wellbeing through high quality research, theory, and action programs. Since 1974, work has generated changes in attitudes, practices, and public policy.

Opponents of LGBT equality often try to make LGBT parents seem like a new and untested phenomenon, and therefore . The history of LGBT parents and our children, however, goes back further than one might think.

The Greek poet , whose island home of Lesbos gave us the term 鈥渓esbian,鈥� may have had a daughter named 鈥淐leis.鈥� That would mean that the history of LGBT parents goes back to around 600 BCE.

The existence of her daughter is only attested through a few fragments, though, making it far from certain. It鈥檚 also anachronistic to apply modern identity terms to historical figures, even such a lesbian icon as Sappho. The possibility of her existence, however, should encourage us to reflect that the history of parents who fall under a broad LGBT umbrella (not tied to modern conceptions of the terms) likely goes back as far as the history of LGBT people as a whole. They may not have been 鈥渙ut and proud鈥� like many modern LGBT parents, but we can still see them as their forebears.

Sticking with better documented cases, was the father of two boys with his wife Constance Lloyd, and apparently a loving one. His son Vyvyan, in his book Son of Oscar Wilde, wrote about Wilde鈥檚 relationship with him and his brother, 鈥淗e was a hero to us both. . . . a real companion to us. . . . He would go down on all fours on the nursery floor, being in turn a lion, a wolf, a horse, caring nothing for his usually immaculate appearance.鈥� Alas, when the boys were eight and nine, their mother took them to Switzerland after Wilde鈥檚 trial for 鈥済ross indecency鈥� (having same-sex relations) and they never saw him again.

had relationships with several women, including fellow writers Virginia Woolf and Violet Trefusis, and had two children with her husband, Harold George Nicolson (who also had same-sex relationships). Her son Nigel Nicolson later used her account of the affair with Trefusis as the heart of a book about his parents, Portrait of a Marriage. There, he called his mother鈥檚 description of the affair 鈥渙ne of the most moving pieces that she ever wrote.鈥� While he acknowledged both parents鈥� same-sex relationships, he also said their marriage 鈥渂ecame stronger and finer as a result.鈥� Their love affairs were mere 鈥減orts of call,鈥� but it was 鈥渢o the harbour that each returned.鈥� Nevertheless, it is easy to see Nicolson as the product of parents who fall under the broad LGBT umbrella, and to place another brushstroke in our picture of LGBT family history.

Looking only at parents who had a more modern sense of their LGBT identities, out LGBT parents go back to the very start of the LGBT civil rights movement. Most still had their children within the context of different-sex marriages, but were more likely than in earlier times to leave those marriages, even though this often meant losing custody of their children. , one of the founders in 1955 of Daughters of Bilitis, the first national lesbian rights organization in the U.S., was one such parent. Not surprisingly, her organization held some of the first known discussion groups on lesbian motherhood鈥攚ay back in 1956. (See Daniel Winunwe Rivers鈥� Radical Relations, which I reviewed in the Women鈥檚 Review of Books earlier this year.)

Even the term 鈥済ayby boom鈥濃�攔eferring to same-sex couples starting their families together鈥攊s already over two decades old, dating to at least March 1990, when Newsweek reported, 鈥渁 new generation of gay parents has produced the first-ever 鈥榞ayby boom.鈥欌�� That means that many of the children from that boom are themselves now adults鈥攚hile many of the first generation of out parents are becoming grandparents.

Think of it this way: the fictional Heather who had two mommies was in preschool in classic 1989 children鈥檚 book. If she were real, she鈥檇 now be in her late 20s.

Those who continue to insist that LGBT parents are not good for children have failed to realize that if that were true (even leaving aside the extensive social science research to the contrary), there would be many more maladjusted adults running around. Analyses from have found that currently, between 2.3 and 4 million adults have an LGBT parent. If they suffered harm because of that, someone surely would have noticed the connection by now.

As a lesbian mom, I believe that learning the history of LGBT parents and their children can also help us feel less alone, less like we are the first to face each challenge. Having confidence that others have succeeded before us can translate into confidence in our parenting skills, which in turn can positively impact our children.

Knowing the struggles鈥攁nd triumphs鈥攐f LGBT parents in the past can also give us hope and strength in overcoming the challenges鈥攍egal, political, social, and emotional鈥攖hat we still face.

And seeing how the early organizations for LGBT parents helped shape the overall LGBT rights movement of today (a story told in Rivers鈥� book and in the 2006 documentary ) can inspire us to keep contributing to that broader effort, even as we balance the demands of work and family.

for this year may be drawing to a close, but the work of exploring our history must continue.

is the online content manager for the at the at . She is also the founder and publisher of , a GLAAD Media Award-winning blog and associated newspaper column for lesbian moms and other LGBT parents. She has a BA summa cum laude from 星空无限 and an M.Phil in Modern History from Oxford University.

This is reproduced with permission from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation in Princeton, NJ. It was first published on the .

If you were stressed out and wanted to vent to your friends about it, how would you let them know? Would you pick up the phone and talk, or text? Would you set up time to grab coffee or go for a brisk walk? Or would you post to Facebook why your day just couldn鈥檛 get any worse?

As I logged into the recent RWJF/NPR/Harvard School of Public Health-sponsored , I identified with the panelists who were dispelling stereotypes about 鈥渉ighly stressed鈥� individuals being high-level executives or those at the top of the ladder. Instead of finding work-related stress as a top concern, as is often played out in the media and popular culture, the researchers were finding that individuals with health concerns, people with disabilities, and low-income individuals were experiencing the highest levels of stress. The panelists talked about the importance of qualities like resiliency and the ability to turn multiple, competing stressors into productive challenges to overcome, and the integral role of communities in shaping, buffering, and/or exacerbating stress.

We often consider our communities as living, working, playing in close physical proximity. But what about the online spaces? What about our opt-in networked friendship circles ... our cyber-audience who sign up to read our posts with mundane observations, proud revelations, and the occasional embarrassing photos?

Media coverage about social media has not been kind鈥攐ften linking its use with cyberbullying, sexual predators, and depression or loneliness. But recent scholarship on new media demonstrates that interpersonal communication, online and offline, plays a vital role in integrating people into their communities by helping them build support, maintain ties, and promote trust. Social media is often used to escape from the pressures of life and alter moods, to secure an audience for self-disclosures, and to widen social networks and increase social capital. The found that adult Facebook users are more trusting than others, have more close, core ties with their social networks, and receive more social support than non-users.

So what if we asked adolescents the same question: 鈥淚f you were having a bad day and wanted to let your friends know about it, how would you let them know?鈥�

In our current research on media and identity, we purposively sampled more than 2,300 individuals aged 12 to 25 from 47 states and 26 countries. They took an online survey that investigated how vulnerable populations (such as racial/ethnic minorities, women, adolescents, people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender, those with low social status) have used the Internet and social media in healthy and unhealthy ways, particularly during times of stress. We wanted to determine how and why supportive communities could exist in personal online networks that could increase one鈥檚 resiliency in the face of challenges.

We found that when young people want to talk about a bad day, they mainly preferred in-person (69%), texting (69%), or phone call (51%) methods to reach out for help. Social media was not utilized as often to talk about stressful times鈥攚ith Facebook (29%) being more popular than Twitter (7%) overall.

The poll results found that 19 percent of adults use social media more than usual during stressful times. In our study, adolescents were significantly more likely to post to Facebook networks about their bad days than emerging adults aged 18 to 25, which can indicate that there are generational differences in how new media can be supportive.

African American participants (19%) chose Twitter to report to their networks about a bad day more often, whereas Asian Americans (40%) used Facebook more often than people of any other race/ethnicity during times of stress.

A surprisingly large number of young people (under age 25) reported that they write blogs, from a low of 37 percent of Hispanic respondents to a high of 60 percent of Asian Americans respondents. Incidentally, individuals who have ever written a blog are more likely to report being unhappy or sad than non-bloggers. Perhaps being more public online about private matters helps adolescents to know that they are not alone in their battles with stress.

Further examination of the use of new media may help us develop prevention and intervention programs and tools to guide adolescents, their parents, educators, and health care workers, and to remind ourselves how the adolescent and emerging adult years can be stressful. Perhaps logging onto one鈥檚 Facebook community and jotting down one鈥檚 thoughts could be just the right kind of coping mechanism whenever the need arises.

Linda Charmaraman, Ph.D. is a research scientist at the at and a former National Institute of Child Health and Human Development postdoctoral scholar. She is a Robert Wood Johnson Foundation (RWJF) grantee, examining the potential of social media networks to promote resiliency in vulnerable populations.